Do you admit you've done wrong?

The Parable of the Pharisee and the Tax Collector

9To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: 10"Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector. 11The Pharisee stood up and prayed about^[a^] himself: 'God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector. 12I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.'

13"But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, 'God, have mercy on me, a sinner.'

14"I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

To some schoolboys who were quite confident that they were doing frightfully well and that God was chuffed to bits with them and who rather looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable on a Sunday evening one summer: "Two Etonians went into chapel one morning at 8.40, one of them, menzies-menzies-rotherington was in E block, in Junior Colts firsts for rugby and cricket, had already been tipped for pop, had just aced his Spanish GCSE oral which he had done early because he was so indescribably clever, and was already looking forward to helping people out on his gap year with raleigh international because he was such a nice bloke; the other was a shabby looking contemporary of his, in the same house, who was in tardy book for the fourth week this term, had just cheated in his french coursework, was on a rustication warning for bullying and was dreading seeing the lowermaster on the bill the next week . They stood up, mumbled their way through the hymns, as only etonians do, and then sat down for the prayers, the first boy cast a quick glance around lower chapel and prayed about himself: "God, I thank you that I am not like other boys, - Harrovians, Haileyburians, Wellingtonians, indeed, or even any of these lesser Etonians like scrumpington mi here (that was the second boys name). I am very popular, I've got good banter with the potential poppers in the year above already, I'm highly talented at rugby and cricket, and will probably be a serious hit in the starring role of the lower school play later this summer. I'm generous too, - I'm already thinking about giving my precious time to go on a gap year with raleigh international to build a house in Timbuktu.

But the second boy didn't look around: he buried his head in his hands. He would not even look up to heaven, but clasped his hands together in such frustration at all that he had done wrong that his temples hurt, and said "God have mercy on me, a sinner".

Now how does the next bit go?

"I tell you God was chuffed to bits with the very sporty super trendy loads of mates budding popper as well but he didn't think much of the other bloke?...

wrong actually, it finishes like this

"I tell you that this boy, rather than the first, went away justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.

So hang on. Did I just say what you think I said? Did I just say that God prefers scrumpington mi, that living wreck of a child over the brightest and best of E block? Did I just say that God accepted the rebel rude boy over the really talented thoroughly good chap. Am I really suggesting that God goes for the fool who knows he's wrong instead of the future captain of rugby who thinks he's the best thing since sliced bread?

Well, yes I did and yes I am.

Only don't take my word for it. What did Jesus say when he told this parable. A little background: The Pharisees were really good blokes. Everyone looked up to them as an example of good living. They were people like RERD. And this pharisee that Jesus mentioned was no exception, he gave ten percent of all he had to the poor. Just imagine the kind of guy who goes to Tudor stores, and for every quid he spends on lemon sherbet dippers he puts 10pence in the charity box. And Tax collectors on the other hand were bad, like an ultra evil and corrupt version of a traffic warden.

And Jesus says that the tax collector went home justified, that is accepted by God, rather than the Pharisee.

So basically the parable is saying those who look good to us, are not necessarily those who look good to God. Or, if we transfer that into this environment, that means those who look good at school, the popular ones, the respected ones, are not necessarily those who look good to God. So just think for a moment, who are the people that everyone thinks are great in your year. Who are the people who are particularly religious in your year. Jesus is saying that they are not necessarily the people whom God accepts.

Now the lower master is shifting anxiously from side to side, wondering whether I am going to leave it at that. So I better explain myself.

There was one crucial difference between these two men that completely cancels out all the rest.

Who here has watched the apprentice with sir Alan Sugar who is this mega angry mega rich guy. My wife Emily and I have become apprentice addicts, and along with two other friends we religiously gather every week to watch it. If you're not a fan, basically what happens is that every week an ever dwindling number of wannabe apprentices get given a task to do, in two teams, and at the end they get called into Sir Alan Sugar's boardroom where he makes them explain their incompetence. Every week one person on the team that loses gets fired, but not before they've had a thorough dressing down from Sir Alan Sugar. Eventually all but one will be eliminated, and Sir Alan Sugar will have his new apprentice.

Well, the thing is, God is basically the opposite of Alan Sugar. Alan Sugar basically runs everyone over the coals in the boardroom and accepts people who are over confident, fight their corner, never give in, and who show their superiority over those around them.

God is the opposite. There is only one criterion for being accepted by God: you've just got to admit you've done wrong. Alan Sugar wants people who think they're right and have the confidence to stand up for themselves under pressure. God on the other hand wants only those who are actually prepared to recognise they're not always right and they've messed up. That tax collector was a moral failure, but God accepted him, because he realised he'd done wrong and needed forgiveness. The pharisee thought he deserved a medal and a couple of birthday honours for being such a great bloke, and God rejected him.

One thought he was God's gift to the world, the other realised he had nothing to give and could only receive.

One of them thought he was a credit to God, whilst the other realised that he was in eternal debt.

One was sef-righteous, the other self-condemned

But in the end, the One who exalted himself and was humbled, the one humbled himself and was exalted.

So do you see, it didn't actually make a difference what they had done with their lives on the outside, whether Pharisee or tax collector, whether budding popper or scrumpington mi, the big issue is: Did they admit they had done wrong?

So you'll be pleased to hear, and so will the lower master, that I'm not saying that if you're talented and popular God automatically doesn't accept you, nor that if you're a troublemaker God automatically does. In the end it's a question of heart attitude.

Whether you are successful in the eyes of Eton, in the eyes of your peers, in the eyes of the world or not, what matters is your attitude to God. Do you come to him humbly with regret for the ways you have rebelled against him, or do you come to him, like David Beckham from Madrid to the Los Angeles Galaxy, thinking, boy he must be chuffed to bits to have me on his side.

After all It could have been the other way round after all. It could have been that the popular guy was actually very humble, and realised that for all his talents he was well short of God's standards, it could have been that scrumpington mi was arrogant to boot, that he didn't recognise he'd done wrong at all, nor feel any inclination to change. In any case what matters is Do we admit that we have done wrong.

I think Jesus' parable would have us ask a few questions of ouselves:

Firstly, If you do not believe Jesus words are true, which of course each man must decide for himself, how is it that we gain acceptance by God, and how do you know whether you are right?

secondly, if we trust Jesus' words, Have we ever come into chapel, or prayed anywhere and beaten our breast in sorrow and repentance. Now I know we're Brits, and we're Etonians, and upper lips probably don't come any stiffer, but you get my point. Have we ever, like that tax collector, like scrumpington mi, felt deep pain and regret at our wrongdoing against God. Have you ever shed a tear when you come to God? If not, will we not remain unaccepted by God, just like the pharisee?

thirdly, Have we ever felt like that tax collector, recognised that we are rotten, broken through and through, and perhaps been tempted to think that God could never accept us? Let's be reminded, that whether we are the Pharisee, the tax collector, menzies-menzies-rotherington, scrumpington mi, Alan Sugar, David beckham or anyone else, God's love in the cross of Jesus Christ covers, washes away the greatest of our wrongdoings, if only we would ask for his mercy.